Women and men too talk to discuss their woes or even something that worries them about another person, only to brain storm . We think we are trying to find the best way to look at it , or get stronger .. hence we discuss. Sometimes it is just to let out that which has been tied in the mind for a while…that which has been stagnant for some time (thoughts and repeated thoughts)
Now it needs to come out in either words , tears or even anger…generally with a friend.
While venting works as a catharsis (releasing) process.. many times it has adverse effects.
Like famous Japanese author photographer and researcher Masaru Emoto proved that the words we speak affect the water which is 70% of our bodies and in turn affects us giganormously.
These are photographs of frozen water and the crystals that are formed after having repeated these words or thoughts above water :
So too whatever “WORDS” we decided to pour out to a friend or bash it out with our spouse effects both the speaker and the listener.
Similarly Dr David Hawkins proved that the feelings we feel or carry within us INCREASES or REDUCES not just OUR energy levels but it expands outwards and affects the energy levels of everyone around us. Dr Hawkins further proves the feelings we repeatedly share to different people can uplift the energy levels of a whole city or sink it too.
And since we all are connected as stated and proved by neuroscientist Vilayanur Ramachandran who nicknamed certain mirror neurons-Gandhi neurons, because they essentially link us all together. He proved that our brain is hard wired to automatically imitate, learn and imbibe just about anything that we watch or hear – habits, emotions, reactions even civilizations were created by these very neurons and their uncanny ability to mirror anything that has been observed by any of our senses! Then imagine what happens when when we hear or watch or have some feelings put repeatedly into words while venting?
What that means is that even though we are individuals, our connection to the whole is just as important to the nature of our very existence.
You can see more details in this video:
The neurons that shaped civilization – VS Ramachandran
Hence venting doesn’t heal… It leads to multiplying or spreading the problem or the challenge like a wild fire can in a forest!
Most times we discuss with a 3rd person instead of having to hash it out with the same person… This leads to a smooth uninterrupted spreading of negative energy & vibrations and also creating an image and a platform for that person in our minds. Then any future interaction or communication you may have with this person (about whom you have discussed animatedly with someone )would take place on that very platform or background you have created in your mind’s canvas about this particular person.
If someone made a passing remark about your employee who works for you or colleague or maid-“ she doesn’t stick at a job for too long”.
Every time this employee or colleague behaves in a certain way or takes a day off, you are going to look at her/him with the information you have carefully filed away in your mind until now and it is now your platform or environment from which you will draw responses or reactions.
What if the person genuinely has a problem , or even needs our help …. but we fail to see or even understand the person in fact we are completely unable of looking at the person with new eyes as we have closed out every other possibility with the story firmly in place in our heads, a story put in by someone else.
Also when we vent we have found an easy but absolutely futile way of handling the problem. We actually fool ourselves into thinking that the problem is handled.
But has it been handled ?- NO!
Unless we speak or discuss directly with the person concerned it is not handled.
It is definitely harder speaking our minds to the person concerned. It is a humungous task for our egos too , as we may appear vulnerable or maybe even needy and some of our own flaws need to be placed on the table when we need to communicate directly with the person.
But any other way – gossiping , discussing with another friend or venting …all of these do they come anywhere close in making you or the other person stronger? Or fixing the Problem? Should we discuss and talk repeatedly of how wrong or bad things are ? or how we can make it better?What would you do starting today?